Caturday Night Live: Gay Demon Exorcisms

by Nov 14, 2012 9:01 pm Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Internet is a dark, dark place.

It offers a sneak peek into the nooks and crannies of society that do exist, but are usually overlooked or avoided.

I happen to stumble upon a lot of these disgusting and odd crevices quite frequently with the amount of time I spend on the World Wide Web every day.

For example, in less than 10 minutes today, I learned that human belly buttons harbor around 67 different types of bacterial species, and that a man in Florida is defending himself in court for having sexual relations with a miniature donkey, saying he "likes the way the fur feels" on his manhood.

While that is one of many disturbing subjects I could hash out, I will spare you, and get to what really bothered me today.

Have you ever heard of a "gay exorcism" before?

Being raised in a religious household, I have the unfortunate pleasure of being familiar with the idea.

I had completely forgotten about the concept until I was surfing the nets and a video popped up that read, "Man Possessed By Gay Demon."

It was hilarious, but it reminded me of being in church, when I would sit in the pews during a sermon, listening to the pastor repeat how bad it was "to be homosexual."

"We love them, but we do not love their lifestyle," he would say. "We love them, but we do not become close to them."

It was like hearing a public service announcement for segregation; equal, but separate.

The only way to ridding homosexuals of their "ailment" was to free them of their "gay demons" in an exorcism — aka calling those fabulous demons right out of those extremely attractive people!

There was another pastor in our church that had been gay most of his life, but was now straight and married to a woman.

He was always used as an example of a lost person finding "the light," but he always seemed really cold and distant to me.

Now, at the time I was just a kid, right in that prime stage of impressionability — but even then, I never really wholeheartedly accepted the outrageous idea that being sexually attracted to someone of the same gender was wrong.

I wondered why we, as Christians, were so mean-spirited and condescending toward homosexuals, when Jesus was supposed to love everyone.

I mean, he loved Judas and Judas was like the Joey Greco of Jesus' Cheaters episode: Judas totally led the Romans right to Jesus when he was just chilling and turning water into wine with the sinners.

If you could love that jerk, why couldn't you love someone that had a different sexual preference than you?

It never seemed that difficult to me, nor an issue.

I await the day that every religious person is shamed for thinking this way.

In my eyes, it is no different from racism.

Trying to exorcise a gay demon out of someone is like trying to exorcise the McDonald's cravings from my body — it is wrong and I will not stand for it.


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