Spartan Daily

Catcalling should not be acceptable in our society

Brittany Patterson

“Hey baby, how you doing?”

There are many scenarios in which this question can be presented to a young woman.

A significant other (perhaps with a fear of verbs) may pose this question if they so desire to learn about their sweethearts' health or well-being. A parent may ask this of their child. A devoted pet owner may croon this statement tenderly and often in baby talk to a sick animal.

And of course, this question can be hollered out of a car window or from across the street at a woman, and I’m sure the occasional man, who is merely walking to their next destination. This may be accompanied with the slowing of the vehicle, puckered lips or other lewd gestures.

The reactions to this sort of unwelcome intrusion into one’s life vary.

I’ve heard of gals who respond exclusively with a particular hand gesture — and that’s not the peace sign.

There’s also the more straightforward approach: to yell right back, typically a string of words that would make your mother blush.

My approach of choice is to do nothing. I’m a passive wimp and I'm OK with that. I simply keep walking.

When you were a child and you got in trouble, did you ever like being yelled at by your parents?

With the exception of sports where yelling is the norm, have you ever done something well and then been yelled at as praise? It never happened to me.

Using this logic, if in all instances being yelled at is bad, then why do men think yelling at a woman that they find attractive will bring them good results?

Really, I’m curious…

On Monday such an experience happened to me, but it was altered in a way so that I was no longer just annoyed, but the tiniest bit scared.

I was walking with a friend to grab some dinner down San Carlos Street and as we were passed by two men, one of them made the oh so intelligent comment, “Hey baby, you looking fine.”

Great, whatever. Where did your verbs go?

From where I stood, he obviously thought either a)It’s fun to mess with college-aged women and make them feel uncomfortable, or b)In some deluded state he truly believed I would turn to him and say, “Really? Thank you so much. Let’s go have sex in some alleyway.”

In this case, his unwanted comment was accompanied by the action of this man physically grabbing my arm.

Not a bump, not even a brush on the butt (although that would have been awful, at least it’s a blatantly sexual action), but it was his grasp on my arm that spoke of possession or dominance.

My back stiffened, my eyes widened in surprise. I was truly incredulous. This stranger thought it was acceptable to make a physical pass at a woman walking down the street with her friend.

We are arguably the most intelligent creatures on this planet. Humans write the books on evolution. So where did all of our humanity go?

We are not Cro-Magnons. To perpetuate the stereotypes presented in the Flintstones, generally in society we do not club people over the head and drag them to a cave when we’re horny or hungry or anything else.

To me, cat-calling at a young woman walking around downtown on a Monday night, dressed in jeans and sweatshirt, hair up, all make-up long gone, is one unexplainable concept. But to grab at her, that screams of some larger societal loss of manners.

I’m well aware that much worse things could have happened — do happen —every single day to good people, so I’m not saying my one experience should overshadow that.

But I think it’s worth devoting five minutes of our time to ask ourselves if we want to continue to grow a culture where actions like this are condoned, a society where this sexist-driven idea can take root and grow.

I didn’t do anything when this happened. I froze because I was surprised and because I was a little scared. This stranger’s action scared me and that fear, well frankly, now it pisses me off.

There's no reason why, in this country where we've made leaps and bounds when it comes to women's rights, that I should wonder if I'm going to be grabbed at when I go out to get a hoagie.

Let's try for some more manners. My mom always told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

That goes for touching too.